Dear Mr./Ms. Bossname,
Surprise! I’m resigning.
I can honestly say it’s not you; it’s me. I am on to new adventures. Of course, none will match the Great Faxing Scandal of 1998, or the troublesome pen shortage in recent years. And who can forget the Johnson account? We barely made it through that one!
I will remember (most of) my colleagues fondly. I won’t miss the endless meetings, or the terrible coffee. But I am more than ready to leave the cubicle life behind.
If you want to reach out, don’t look for me on social media. I’m sticking to snail mail or carrier pigeons.